A bottle of wine comes across as very impersonal, according to etiquette expert Lilian Woltering. There isn’t a single answer to how it should be done. It not only differs per person, but also depends on the company you work for.
Woltering thinks that a gift should mainly radiate that it has been thought about. “With a bottle of wine, that doesn’t seem to be the case.” She says she has received a lot of bottles of red wine as gifts, while she doesn’t drink red wine at all. “And people who don’t drink at all are too easily ignored here.”
Even if it was the comedian’s favorite wine, it feels “too easy” for Woltering. The etiquette expert suggests that a gift should show that you have thought about it for at least five minutes. “The personal aspect is important. Just like that you as an employer show that you are happy with that employee.”
How long someone works somewhere can also play a role in the final gift. Woltering can imagine that it might feel a bit strange if a colleague who leaves after one year gets the same as someone who retires after ten years. “Employers can possibly solve this by thinking about what you give after how many years and communicating that.”
For example, there are companies that might give a bunch of flowers after one year, a gift certificate after five years, and a drink after ten years. That also works well, because that way you show your appreciation if someone stays with the company for a long time.
Homemade gifts work best
This is also the time for farewell gifts for teachers. Now that the school year is coming to an end and the summer vacation is about to begin, many parents want to show their appreciation. Gerhard Preuter, teacher of group 5 at a primary school, would prefer parents to put their heads together for one big gift.
“That’s nicer than all separate bars of chocolate or bottles of shower gel,” he tells NU.nl. “And that also feels a bit impersonal.” He also appreciates it if parents approach him and ask if he has any specific wishes. If you find it uncomfortable to pass on your wish list, you can also say that you would like to be surprised, according to the teacher.
Preuter himself prefers a gift made by his students. “That expresses much more appreciation as far as I’m concerned.” That may save a hasty search for a box of cheap chocolates.
Whether it’s a colleague or a teacher, a personal touch works best. “Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about what really makes someone happy,” says Woltering. “It’s good that attention is being paid to Van ‘t Hek’s farewell, but the way in which it is done really matters.”
“Do it personally, so not via email or a message and preferably not by phone.” And, she advises: pay close attention to the fact that you don’t make mistakes in your farewell speech. For example, Van ‘t Hek was thanked for nine New Year’s Eve conferences, while he has done ten.