Are you in a relationship and have you ever wondered: Is this it? Having Doubtts About Your Relationship is very normal. But it can also mean that something is not right. Two experts explain how to deal with this.
“Our brain creates all child or thoughts, including about relationships,” Says sexologist Astrid Kremers. In Her Practice, She Regularly Speaks to People with Relationship Problems. “It is also very normal to have pleasant and less pleasant thoughts, including about your relationship. Or to think: is this it? But you can learn not to always get carried away by Those thoughts.”
Accordance to Kremers, a thought is just a thought. It Doesn’t Always Mean you have to do something with it, Such as ending your relationship if you don’t want to. “You don’t have to take everything seriously,” she explains. “You don’t necessarily have to do something with your thoughts. You have the choice. What you do must align with what you want and what is important to you.”
Caroline Franssen, coach and lecturer at the Relationship Academy, also says that a thought like ‘Is this it?’ Doesn’t Have To Mean That You Have To Put An End To Your Relationship. “But if you have this thought and you think you are indeed missing something, then you can think about what you would like. Sometimes you need a new stimulus.”
Accordance to Franssen, that new stimulus can also mean that you are going to do something new for yourself. “People can project a lot onto their partner and think that they gohould satisfy all their needs, but then you are asking a lot of some,” She says. “For example, Take Dance Lessons or Painting Lessons, Invest in Something You Enjoy. That also Takes the Pressure Off The Relationship. But When in Doubt, Don’t Try to make a choice all the time.”
Raise the Alarm If You Are Suffering From It
At some moments in your relationship you may start to doubt a little more. “That can be due to events, such as living together, having children and getting married,” Says Kremers. “Or if you fall in love with some Else. This can Happen if you Lack Connection with your partner. You then feel unheard, not understood and the other person does not respond when necessary.”
Althegh Doubting is not always the end of your relationship, it can mean that something is not going well in your relationship. “If you have serious doubts, Something is usually Wrong. Otherwise you would just be having fun together,” Says Franssen.
But when do you raise the alarm? “I would first pay in Doubt and Feel What Is Going on Inside You,” Says Kremers. “Feel free to take action if you are bothered by your thoughts and the suffering pressure inputes.”
Kremers Advisen Discussion Your Doubs With Your Partner First. “Go Into Depth Together and Listen to Each Other’s Story. You can also talk about this with a friend. Or request a conversation with an expert.”
Franssen also advises Taking action if the relationship costs you too much. “If you are bore and find the relationship boring, discuss this with your partner,” Says Franssen. “Think about what you encountered together and do something. as a therapist. “
In this case, accordance to franssen, it is important to choose a neutral person, because many people in your environment may have an interest in the relationship.
“If there are children, Family Members Such as Your Parents May Hope That You Stay Together,” She Says. “If there is emotional manipulation and you discuss it with your partner, then partner temporarily bombards you with expressions of love. But as soon as you give in and are emotionally back in the relationship, Things Continue As Before.”
If you want to end your relationship, that can be a difficult step. That also has to do with practical matters. “People often get stuck if they feel something something and are emotionally dependent on each other,” Says Franssen. “If you live together, it can be difficult because there are few homes available. And if you have children, you may worry about what that will be like.”
Accordance to Franssen, People Are Often Afraid or Being Alone. “But the price can also be worth it if you are in a bad relationship. Better No Relationship than one that exhausts you.”