Are you flirting in a friendly way, or are you bonehing some? ESpeciate in a party environment, people Sometimes Lose sight of the differentence. NU.nl Talks to Two Experts About Desired and Undesired Intimacies at Festivals.
Young People Often Have Misconcepsions About Sex And Flirting, Accordance to New Research From The Rutgers Knowledge and Expertise Center. For Example, Heterosexual Men of Think Their Partner Will Indicate Her Boundaries. Meanwhile, Women Have Difficulty Starting to Talk About It Themselves. Talking is key, but do you really do that when you’re having a good time?
The Netherlands Youth Institute Shows That More and More Young People Experience Sexual Boundary Violations. For boys, it is 23 percent, and for girls, it is 54 percent. “Or Course, It Always Happened,” Says Ymke Kelders, Program Manager Sexuality and Care at Rutgers. “But Since the Metoo Movement, it has leg more on the surface. There is much more talk about it.”
Rutgers Came Up With ‘Are You Okay?’, A Campaign Aimed at Bystanders. Kelders: “If you see two people flirting and you doubt Whether They Both Want it Equally, you can ask that question. I think we all know that gut feels a little bit. Such a short question is very accessible. Pop Venues and Festivals vertivals vertivals vertivals vertivals vertivals vertivals vertivals vertivals and festals
‘People Confuse Attention with Consent’
However, Bystanders Don’t Always have to Notice Something. Someone standing too close to you in a crowd, quickly putting a hand on your buttocks in passing; There are plenty of festival goers who can talk about it. “The Most Important Thing to Emphasize is that the responsibility does not lie with the person who experiences this,” Says Kelders. “The rule is that you never touch some unwanted.”
With alcohol and loud music, inhibitions Easily Disappear, Says Sexologist and Relationship Therapist Linda Hauer. “You make contact faster, but it also Becomes More Difficult to Feel Whether that contact is desired. If you want to flirt, start with eye contact and body longuage. And remember that no reaction is also a reaction.”
A Positive Reaction Does Not Necessarily Mean Anything Imediately. “Some people confuse Attention with Consent,” Says Hauer. “First see if you are both both relaxed. You can say, for example, that you like some so much that you would like to kiss them. This also adds something to the atmosphere. Asing for consent very dryy is quite a mood killer.”
“Also take the signals from your body seriously,” adds the sexologist. “Ify some puts a hand on your butt and you get a bad feeling about it, you can sometimes make up another story in your head and still go along with it. Express what you think and how you feel. Coordinaate this with your somedth. Security Guard. “
Reporting is Possible in Several Ways
Festivals Often Have Various Ways to Report Unwanted Behavior. In Addition to Security Guards and First Aid Workers, There Are Also Regular Live Chats, Special Phone Numbers, and Physical Reporting Points. Check the Website of the Festival in Question for this (usually under FAQ).
When reporting, you can tell exactly what happened, where it was, and give a description of the person in question. A friend can often help with this. This is not only useful for possible tackling a perpetrator. Behind the scenes, Reports also give more insight into how safe or unsafe a particular situation. This way, it can be handled better in the future.
Intimacy at a festival does not have to be avoided, cellars Emphasizes. “Flirting is super fun as long as both parties Enjoy it. The trick is that you understand and respect each other’s Wishes and boundaries. This can be done in many ways. You don’t have to ask an explicit questions at every step.”
“People do not always cross boundaries with bad intentions,” adds hauer. “Often They Lack the Ability to Pick Up Signals, or they do not have their impulses under control. One person has this more than the other. So it is not crazy to wonder who you are and how you look at love. You also get a lot of that separate from festivals.”