Now+ so men can do something against unsafe streets themselves

This way men can do something against unsafe streets themselves

Many women feel unsafe on the streets. They avoid places and are afraid of being harassed or catcalled. As a man, you are not necessarily a perpetrator, but you can unintentionally cause fear. Here’s how you can be part of the solution.

Most perpetrators of sexual harassment are men. But most men are not perpetrators, says Hessel. He is a project employee at Emancipator, an expertise center for male emancipation. Hessel prefers not to be mentioned with his last name – that visibility has caused unpleasant experiences in the past.

“Men can actually be part of the solution,” says Hessel. “You probably have never grabbed anyone from the bushes as a man. But maybe you have ever catcalled someone, or not accepted no. During going out, only focused on scoring someone without showing interest in the person. Or just unknowingly given someone an unsafe feeling.” And otherwise you know someone who has done that, according to Emancipator.

To achieve true gender equality, men must also change, says Emancipator. The knowledge center is working on this by engaging in conversations with men at schools and sports clubs, for example.

These conversations are about violent forms of masculinity and stimulating caring, respectful masculinity. “Being tough, dominant, wanting to score and constantly encouraging each other in this are gender norms that encourage violence,” says Hessel.

Emancipator wants to help men break free from these traditional, limiting ideas about what it means to be a man. According to the knowledge center, this can ensure that women can ultimately walk safer on the streets.

‘Everyone in shared space is responsible for safety’

“Girls and women do not have the responsibility for safety on the street by driving around or dressing differently. Everyone who is in the shared space has that responsibility,” says Laura Adèr. She is the founder of Fairspace, an organization that is committed to combating street intimidation.

So boys and men can contribute to a safer street. Without an accusation having to be made, says Adèr. “It remains a fact that many of the perpetrators are men. So we have to look at how men can contribute to keeping it safe on the streets.”

Sometimes this message leads to resistance, says Adèr. But if half of the women feel unsafe on the streets, then we must continue to address this, according to her.

To be part of the solution, you can do something as a man, say Adèr and Hessel.

1. Compliments are nice, intimidation is not

Respectful and desired compliments are nice, says Adèr. Intimidation is something else. That’s about power and discomfort, not about kindness. Also, do not compliment a complete stranger woman with her appearance or body.

Look critically at your motives, says Schaaf: am I giving this compliment only to make contact or to sincerely say something positive? If you notice that someone is not waiting for your compliment, leave that person alone.

2. Make space on the street

If it is dark and quiet on the street, do not continue to walk or cycle behind someone. That can give someone an unsafe feeling, even if you are probably just going from A to B like them and you are driving in the same direction, says Adèr.

“Just overtake so that a woman knows: he is not after me. That shows: I am not busy with you at all, I am also on my way.”

3. Try to empathize

In conversations at secondary schools, conversations often lead to beautiful insights in children, sees the Emancipator employee. “If we ask a girl what she all does to be allowed to go out in the evening, that’s quite a lot. Choose a safe route, think about clothing, send apps to her parents when she is there, be picked up.”

“If we then ask the boys, you see their amazement: they don’t have to do that at all,” continues Hessel. “Adult men could also ask women: when do you feel unsafe?”

4. Discuss the theme with other men

You don’t have to organize a meeting with your friends, says Adèr. But just casually discuss how you deal with boundaries, safety and intimidation.

By normalizing this kind of conversations, men can address each other earlier on sexism and drunken, pushy behavior towards women. Those are all examples that can lead to worse, says Hesse. “Open conversations about this lead to more insight, recognition, understanding and more positive behavior that everyone benefits from, including men.”

5. Deepen yourself in bystander intervention

Fair Space offers a free training on bystander intervention. You learn, for example, how to interrupt an intimidating situation without direct confrontation, how to involve others if you cannot intervene yourself and when and how you can safely film something.

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