It’s never too late to apologize, experts tell Nu.nl. But what’s the best way to say “sorry” or “I’m sorry”? And what should you definitely not do?
Mayor Femke Halsema Recently Apologized On Behalf of Amsterdam for the Role the Municipality Played in the Persecution of Jews in the Second World War. Earlier, King Willem-Alexander Did So For The Slavery Fits. On the Other Hand, Someone Like US President Donald Trump Has Never Apologized for Anything.
Good apologies have elements of vulnerability and self-humiliation in them. That makes saying “sorry” extra Difficult for Many People. A President who turns everything around so that he cannot be blamed for anything does not set a good example, Says Daniel Janssen, associate professor of Language and Communication at Utrecht University.
“With apologies you show self-reflection and respect for the relationship you have with THERS. It takes courage, because it emphasizes that you have failed somewhere. But we all make mistakes. That is precisely right.” “
Sincerely Saying “Sorry” Always goes hand in hand with a feeling or discomfort. Accordance to Janssen, this is parents of ‘force’ children to say “sorry” at a young age – of at an age do not yet full -up what that “sorry” is Exactly for, but they do feel the shame and humiliation.
Only Do It If You Really Mean It
Those Feelings Stay With You For A Long Time. And that is a Shame, Precisely because Offering Good Apologies is an important skill. But how do you say “Sorry, I’m sorry” and come across as sincere? The Most Important Thing is that it is an extensive apology and that you devote many words to it. Just “Sorry” is not effective, at most with very small offenses, janssen believes. “You really have to work on it by Considering What You Have Done Wrong, Giving Explanations and Showing Empathy: What has your Behavior Meant for the Other Person?”
Don’t Think About Yourself for A Moment, But Rather About How You Can Repair The Relationship With Someone Else. “You really have to mean it,” Says Aukje Nauta, organizational psychologist at Leiden University. Together with Fieke Harinck, She Analyzed The King’s Apologies for the Slavery Fits. “Because if you are insincere, the other person will feel it immediately. So don’t apologize if, for example, you think the other person is bee fussy. No one wants to hear:” I’m sorry that you feel this way, but it wasn’tn’tn’tn’t on Wasn’tn’tn’tn’tn’tn’tn’t on Wasn’tn’tn’tn’tn’tn’tn’t there “” “”
Rolling Your Eyes Doesn’t Work
Saying “Sorry” Too Quickly is also not good. That comes across as fake and insincere. In Mutual Relationships, Accordance to Her, You Can Always Distinguish Between “If that gets mixed up, the other person of Feels it very keenly.” So pretending to express your sincere regret while rolling your eyes Doessn’t work.
How the other person is subsquently deals with your sincere apologies is something you have no influence on. If some deals with it differently than you expected beforehand, it is useful not to put that into words as a reposer. It can help to share that feeling. Maybe Someone Needs More Time to Think About The Apology.
Open Communication is important, Says Nauta. Otherwise, something can fester for a very long time, and that is not good for your relationship with that person. “As people, we are all irrational at times. We Sometimes react too strongly or on gut feeling and then think afterwards that we could handle that better that better.