Many students have the feeling that they always have to perform. Because the academic year starts again today, Nu.nl asked three students how they deal with that performance pressure. And what parents can do to help.
Madelotte Hoogbergen (23) follows the Masters in the Government and Policy at Utrecht University: “I feel that pressure, especially because of everything that seems to be expected from students. Only a bachelor does not seem enough anymore. You must also have completed a master, have done a good internship and preferably also did volunteer work somewhere.”
“We are constantly comparing ourselves with others. I was recently rejected for an internship, while I had told people in my area that I had a good feeling about it. It then felt uncomfortable to say that I had not become. I had the idea that people would find something about it. But I was told that my friends and study students have been bothered by this.”
“It sometimes feels like you are not allowed to ask for help. As if no one else has problems, while of course you have no idea what others are going through. Certainly if nobody talks about it. We should show that more. That is very human. You learn to go on your mouth. And know that not every study path is for everyone, and that it doesn’t matter.”
“I have the idea that parents often look at what the norm is, or what children do of friends. My tip would be not to do that and just look at what suits your child. Encourage that you should try things and that it is not bad if it fails. What also helped me very much: my parents shared with me everything that I didn’t get back. had to resit. “
Dominique van Alphen (21) studies psychology at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam: “I certainly suffer from performance pressure. People are juting each other up. One bachelor is no longer enough. If you follow a master, then cum laude is not even special anymore. And everyone around you is cooler internships than you.”
“It is not only your studies, but also everything around it: your housemates, friends and fellow students with whom you are constantly comparing yourself. What someone else is doing can quickly feel like the norm. And I think it is a misconception that your age members do keep all the balls high. Because no one can do everything good all the time.
“Dare to say” no “to things. And know that it is not necessary to be perfect in everything. Many students may also encounter that they quickly have the tendency to play down that pressure pressure. It does not feel like something very big and so you don’t want to pay attention to it. While I think it is good to be open and honest about it, because you may eventually be bothered by it.”
“I would like to share the conversation with your studying child. My parents were very protective at first, but I did not pull that and I would rather find it out for myself. That took some getting used to in the beginning, but we made good agreements about it. So ask what your child feels nice and pleasant.”
Teun van Asbeck (22) is a student of industrial designs at TU Delft: “A lot is asked of you when you are going to study. Certainly at the start of your student days, then everything is new and a lot will come to you. You are quite thrown into the deep: a new study, new housemates, an unknown place. But it is not only bad, you also learn from it.”
“You will eventually learn to deal with that. That is why I would like to say that everyone is going through it. I think it will make a difference if we would share more about this. Now it sometimes feels like we are all on our own island, while we are going through the same thing. What can also help is to do something else every now and then. I help me to exercise better.”
“To parents I would like to give your child the space to give the space to be on his own two feet, but at the same time to be a safety net for when things go wrong. Go on the conversation occasionally, but there is no too directly on top. That is also the case. I also see that there are parents who may not immediately put pressure on their children because they do high figures for themselves, but that can do that. take over. “
Many Students Feel They Always Have To Perform. Because the academic year starts again today, nu.nl asked three students how they deal with that performance pressure. And what parents can do to help.
Madelotte Hoogbergen (23) is a Master’s Degree in Administration and Policy at Utrecht University: “I Feel That Pressure Mainly from Everything that Seems to Be Expected of Students. Just a Bachelor’s Degree No Longer Seems Enough. You eagle a Master a Master A Master’s. Preferential have also Done Volunteer Work Somewhere. “
“We are constantly compiring ourelves to ethers. I was recently rejected for an internship, just though I had tolerated people around me that I had a good feel it. Afterwards, it felt uncomfortable to tell theme that i dide eatert all. I had woult thatted all. I had wooled all. I had wooled all. I had would. I had would. I had would. I had would. I had wooled it after all. But I Heard a lot that my friends and fellow students also Suffer from this. “
“It Somtimes Feels Like You Are Not Allowed To Ask For Help. As If No One Else Has Problems, While You Have No Idea What Others Are Going Through. Especial IF No One Talks Very Luman it. Face.
“I have the idea that parents of look at what the norm is, or what children of friends do. My tip would be not to do that and to look at what suits your child. Encourage that you have to try things and that it does notes meped mepedsn’tn’tn’t Everything Went Wrong Duration Their Education.
Dominique van Alphen (21) is Studying Psychology at Erasmus University in Rotterdam: “I Certainly Suffer from Performance Pressure Myelf. People Egg Each Ohe On. One Bachelor’s degree Is No Longer Enough. If you Then Take A Master’s Degree, and Graduing. around you is Doing Cooler Internships Than You. “
“It’s not just your studies, but derehing around it: your housesemates, friends and fellow students with whom you constantly compare yourself. What some else does can quickly feel the norm. ON think it is a misconception Can do everything all the time and you shouldnn’t for all new students: Don’t start that, because you won any energy left for other things. “
“Dare to say ‘no’ to things. And know that it is not necessary to be perfect in everything. Many students May also run into the fact that they quickly tend to trivialize that performance pressure. It Doesn’tn’t Feel Like something big and Soee ’t toy and Soee ’t toy and so so something to it. Think it is good to be open and honest about this, because you May possible any loty suffer from it. “
“With parents I would like to share especially to start the conversation with your studying child. My parents were initially very protective, but I didn’t like that and preferred to figure it out myself. It took some getting used to at first, but we made good agreements about it. So especially Ask what your child feels good and comfortable with. “
Teun van Asbeck (22) is a student of Industrial Design at Tu Delft: “A lot is asked of you go to study. Especial at the beginning of your student days, then Everything is new and a lot of come your way. You are thrown at the deepnnnnnnnawnnnnnawnnnnnnawn: A Newnown: a deep ending end end end end end end end end end ends ended ending ends ending ended ending ending ends ending ending ended ending ending ending ending ending ended ending ends. It’s not all bad, you also Learn from it. It’s just Finding that Balance. “
“You possible Learn to Deal with Therefore, I would like to say to new Students That Everyone Goes Through That. I Think It Already Helps If we share more about this. Now it Sometimes Feels Like Thile Island, While Island Island Island Can also help to do something different every now and then.
“To Parents I would like to say your child the space to Learn to stand on their own two feet, but at the same time to be a safety neat in case things go wrong. Do have a conversation every now and then don’ttuy. Also see that are parents who may not direct Put Pressure on Their Children Becoause they Demand High Grades, For Example, But Indirectly.