A 40-year-old man has been sentenced by the Rotterdam court to three months in prison for stealthing: having unprotected sex without the consent of your partner. The Public Prosecution Service had demanded a six-month prison sentence.
This is the first time someone in the Netherlands has been convicted for having unprotected sex against the will of their partner since the Sexual Offenses Act came into force. Under the new law, no proof is needed that someone has been forced into sex to prove rape or assault. It is already punishable if it is clear that someone did not want sex, but was still incited to do so.
The 40-year-old Rotterdammer and the victim met through a dating app. After a date in August last year, they went home together and had sex. The woman had asked the man if he had a condom with him, which he allegedly confirmed. But when it came to sex, the man did not use a condom, even when the woman asked again.
The court says it sees no reason to doubt the woman’s reliability. “He knew that he was penetrating her against her will without a condom. That is a serious criminal offense,” the judge said in the verdict. “He only allowed himself to be guided by his own needs and did not care about the woman.”
In addition to the three-month prison sentence, the man must pay the woman a total of 3,500 euros in immaterial damages. Immaterial damage in this case is emotional damage.
The Public Prosecution Service (OM) proved the crime, among other things, through a WhatsApp conversation the day after the incident. “Continuing while I asked you to put on a condom is not okay. Continuing while I said I didn’t want this is not okay. You lied when I asked if you had condoms with you,” the woman wrote.
The suspect responded: “Forgive me if I made a mistake.” According to the man, this does not mean that he knew he was wrong. “Apologies do not mean that I admit guilt. I wanted to end the argument and look to the future,” he said at the hearing.
Also, a friend of the woman came by after the incident, after the victim had called her “distraught”. She said the woman “looked dazed”.