It is becoming increasingly common for people to develop eating problems later in life. Just like women, men can also suffer from eating disorders. However, less is known about this, and this disorder is often overlooked in men. Two experts explain why that is.
An eating disorder develops in both men and women in the same way. The symptoms are also the same. Nevertheless, eating disorders in women will be noticed sooner.
“That initially has to do with what men and women see as the ideal body image,” says Greta Noordenbos, senior researcher and university lecturer at the Department of Clinical Psychology at Leiden University. “For women, it is the norm to be slim, and the fear of becoming fat is great. While men don’t want to be slim at all, but rather muscular.”
An eating disorder is mainly seen as a ‘women’s ailment’, says Lidewy Hendriks, psychologist at MIND Korrelatie. Figures also show that 95 percent of people with anorexia nervosa are female. However, Hendriks thinks that the figures do not give an accurate picture. “Because men don’t talk about it or talk about it very little, they don’t appear in any research.”
It is difficult to share emotions
Some men find it difficult to show vulnerability and share emotions. “It only takes two men acting tough in a group of friends, and the tendency is soon great for the rest to join in,” says Hendriks. Noordenbos adds: “Girls often talk among themselves about how they feel, while it does not fit the male image to say, for example, that you are gloomy and depressed.”
Although it may seem that way, anorexia nervosa is not related to the body ideal. “It mainly has to do with insecurity, a distorted body image, perfectionism and performance pressure,” says Hendriks.
“And although these are personality traits that should not be gender-dependent, these traits are mainly attributed to women. In addition, it is accepted among men that they exercise a lot and work on their bodies in this way. Muscles are not seen as something bad.”
Eating disorder is not seen as a problem
“Moreover, an eating disorder is not initially seen as a problem,” explains Noordenbos. “People with anorexia nervosa see it as particularly positive to eat less and lose weight. It gives them self-confidence and self-esteem. Losing weight provides support and is like a lifeline.”
Ignorance also plays a role in the fact that eating problems in men are seen less quickly. Noordenbos recalls a situation in which a boy ate less and less, and his parents also noticed that he had lost a lot of weight. “But they themselves did not immediately think of an eating disorder, and that did not come up first with the general practitioner either. He thought of a hormonal growth disorder.”
Social change is needed
According to Hendriks, it would therefore be good if there was more room not only for women, but also for men to talk about their condition. It must also feel safer, she says. “However annoying it may be, some men really feel less like men if they behave ‘like a girl’. And especially if they have to admit that they suffer from a ‘girl problem’.”
Social change is therefore in order, according to Hendriks. “As a society, we are becoming increasingly aware of male-female differences, but we are not there yet.” She cites the increasing pressure to perform as an example. “That is only getting bigger. And that is where many eating disorders start, with not feeling good enough.”
Stop seeing it as a ‘women’s ailment’
What can you do if you notice that you have an unhealthy relationship with food? “Many men, like women, often know very well that they suffer from an eating disorder,” says Noordenbos. “But someone only rings the bell themselves when it really doesn’t work anymore. The turning point often arises when people suffer from extreme fatigue and can no longer concentrate or exercise because their body is too weakened.”
For that reason alone, it would be good if an eating disorder was no longer seen as a ‘women’s ailment’. This way, general practitioners and someone’s environment can also signal the symptoms earlier.
“And seek help,” emphasizes Hendriks. “Talk about it with friends or family. And if you have the feeling that they won’t understand, go to the general practitioner. If that is still too high a threshold, know that you can call the MIND Korrelatie helpline for free and anonymously, or chat or app with a professional healthcare provider.”