A cabinet collapse, international unrest: a lot is happening in the world that you have no influence on. This can make you feel insecure or powerless. How do you deal with this? “Accept that you don’t always have control.”
People often feel overwhelmed by what is happening in the world, according to psychologist Melissa van Buuren. Think of concerns about wars, the climate, not being able to find a home, or the fall of the cabinet. “The feeling that you have no grip on the world around you can cause stress, anxiety, and powerlessness,” she says. “That unrest puts your body in a kind of ‘on’ mode.”
In that ‘on’ mode, you sleep worse, worry more, and your mood drops. If these complaints last longer, you can eventually suffer from anxiety and depression. “People feel tired and sometimes even numb,” says Van Buuren. “As if they no longer have any influence on their own lives.”
Marianne Simons also knows that uncertainty and the feeling of having no control can lead to anxiety, depression, and despair. “These developments directly affect one of our basic needs: our sense of security and our confidence in the future,” says the university lecturer at the Open University who is in the lifespan psychology department.
People in the Netherlands are also no longer used to the uncertainties surrounding international unrest. Think, for example, of the call to get an emergency kit at home. “For the past eighty years, most of us have lived in freedom and probably rarely thought that this is not always a matter of course,” says Simons.
Do not suppress feelings of uncertainty
All the uncertainties in this time require quite a bit of our so-called ‘psychological flexibility’, according to the university lecturer: how flexibly you can deal with situations. This helps you to adapt and still feel good in negative situations or during circumstances that you do not directly influence. For example, you can still enjoy nature while worrying about the climate.
One is better at this than the other, says Simons. That is partly due to your life experience and your character. “But you can train your psychological flexibility. It is important not to repress feelings of uncertainty or anxiety in a cramped manner.” Negative feelings that are suppressed remain present and ensure that you no longer see new, positive possibilities.
You train your psychological flexibility by continuing to do the things that are important to you – despite the negative feelings – and looking for what is possible, says Simons. For example, if you are very worried about the climate, you cannot do anything about a company that does not comply with environmental regulations. However, you can deal with your environment in a sustainable way yourself.
“This will not make the unpleasant feelings and emotions disappear, but they will be supplemented or perhaps even compensated by positive experiences and emotions,” says Simons.
‘You can’t stop a war, but you can contribute’
Van Buuren also advises making a distinction between what you do and do not have control over. “Accept that you don’t have control over everything. Focus on what is within your reach: taking good care of yourself, continuing to exercise, and talking to others about it. Every form of exercise lowers your stress level. Talking about your feelings relieves and gives space in your head.”
Taking small actions also helps, says the psychologist. There is nothing you can do about the cabinet having fallen. But you can vote in new elections. “You can’t stop a war, but you can do something that contributes: donate, collect supplies, or join an initiative.”
Such actions give you the feeling that you matter again and can contribute, Van Buuren explains. “That helps to feel less powerless and experience more control.” You can try to let go of everything you can’t do anything about, so you can get some rest. “Make sure you come back to the here and now every day. With breathing exercises, a walk, or just away from your screen for a while. That gives peace of mind.”
Continue to take good care of yourself
Taking good care of yourself is important: this allows you to handle more mentally. “Stick to a daily rhythm as much as possible, eat healthy and stay active,” says Van Buuren. “Especially in uncertain periods, these things help to stay mentally afloat. The situation may not change immediately, but you do increase your resilience. And that really makes a difference.”
Van Buuren also advises not to watch the news too often. “Too much news increases stress and anxiety,” she explains. “Choose fixed moments and reliable sources. Watching the news once or twice a day is often enough.”
Feelings of uncertainty do not just disappear, but you can learn to deal with them better, the psychologist emphasizes. “By consciously choosing where your attention goes, taking small steps and seeking support, you will remain mentally stronger. Even when the world around you is fluctuating.”